Contemplating Wisdom - a rather unusual musing

Living in my 70th year gives me a great deal to think about. Seeing life as a never-ending story during which lesson after lesson challenges the actor(s) to gain the wisdom necessary to move on to a deeper and more meaningful lessons, causes me to look back from my path to see the many who have guided me, listened to me whine, consoled, pleaded and persuaded me to keep growing.



I remember especially a dentist – by the name of Denny that I worked with as a consultant in the 1980's. When I would complain to him about business set backs, he would respond with a big smile and say, "Oh, Betty, you are learning so much"!

Adopting this view changes the way I see others. Just like me, others that I may be tempted to judge for their decisions, are just doing what they need to do in this big old life drama – to learn what they need to learn, and to move on to be more completely free to BE.


Over the years I have kept a "Gratitude Journal" to force myself find something in a cloudy day to be grateful for. As I look at those hand written entries made as long as 25 years ago – I marvel at how little I have changed and how much I have grown. I wrote a lot about Becoming – and Being. I have always had a sense of that higher self observing the ego centered me flaying about life. Every entry includes a prayer from that higher self that saw the world and it's people from the big picture where we are all a part of the same One.

Some of the life long struggles have come to an end for me. There has long been that self- loathing – never good enough – guilty feeling residing in me. I always thought of myself as too fat, too dumb, too naïve, too short, too weak – you probably know the list.


I guess we inherited that view of self – genetically embedded into our cells from the religious and patriarchal censorship of anything physical. Play was not to be experienced, at least not until all the work was done. That rarely was the case. Joy was not to be felt – that was reserved for after we die and go to heaven! Personal power was not to be had – because we would always fall short of the expectation.

Gratefully, that whole scene seems pretty funny to me now. When I look at those pictures taken when I was younger – I was beautiful, slender, smart, caring. Then there are the pictures with the blank stare – the years I suffered from depression. I regret that I choose to suffer so much – because all of the things that are joyful were all around me, then as they are now.


I have been reading "A New Earth" Awakening to Your Life's Purpose, by Eckhart Tolle,
for over two years now. It helps me remember who I am. It teaches me to live in the moment "Now" – for that is the only time in which we really live. I highly recommend it if like me you are struggling to grow into who you really are!

I wish for you Joy, Love, Happiness! Most of all I am grateful to you – each one of you who have shared in this life of lessons learned as we strive to become wise enough to Love ourselves and each other.

I hope you will comment – if you have a thought on this rather unusual musing. You can add thoughts under comments and select anonymous. Hope to hear from you.


Love, Betty