Going to the Dogs

Just like that – in an instant it seems – our teenagers had grown up and taken on their own life adventures. Shortly before our youngest, Tim, sprouted wings to fly away he adopted a beautiful little yellow lab puppy he named Buddy. My daughter and her husband had recently adopted a pure bred Keeshond puppy and he was SO cute – I wanted one too! Ron surprised me with a little boy Keeshond we named Muffit. So for a short period of time we had two cute little puppies sharing their special run and sleeping with my son Tim every night. When Tim had a job opportunity in Seattle and moved away, he left Buddy with her friend Muffit, and before you know it Puppy Love ensued! Then we had Buddy, Muffit, Baby Mugsley – who would stay with us, and a litter of seven other siblings who would be adopted by loving homes.

Just before Mugsley was born Ron's daughter and her husband announced that they were expecting our first Grandchild! They came to live with us for a short while during a move from the East. They brought with them a kitty (who was pregnant)! We were in the midst of a population explosion!

Today Ron & I went fishing. Or to be more accurate – Ron fished – I watched and encouraged. We drove to Detroit Lake and then further East on the Santiam River where we enjoyed the beautiful sunny day and the beautiful snow covered Mt. Jefferson. We took a short side trip to the past – and traveled a few miles up the Whitewater River to the camp site where Ron's oldest son "Ronnie" and his sweetheart "DeeDee" carved their initials in a little birch tree – over 22 years ago. The tree is still there – much bigger –and the Sweethearts gave us our first girl Grandchild who is now 21 years old! We reminisced together recalling all those wonderful camping trips with dogs and grandkids and their parents and our hearts simply overflowed with joyful thoughts as we started to sing an off key version of "Those were the Days my Friend, We thought they'd never End!

Since Ron didn't catch any fish today – we stopped at Costco and picked up a steelhead and I called friends to say we came home with enough steelhead to grill tomorrow. Just to make our story accurate – I took the package of steelhead out of the bag and threw it across the kitchen to Ron who said, "Man, What a Catch"!

The Job of Parenting 1975 - Forever

When my first child was born in 1959 I thought I would be tied down forever but looking back now it is amazing how quickly each window of experience opens, grows, and then changes. There is nothing better than having a grown daughter and son who are now my best friends and confidants.

But in 1975 when Ron & I married his son was 15, my daughter was 15, his daughter was 14 and my son was 13! It is obvious from hindsight that we only had 3 short years with the oldest two and 5 years with the youngest. We always had family dinners – with Ron doing or helping with the cooking, and there were always at least two teenage friends joining our weekend dinners. We were glad they enjoyed coming here and we thought ourselves to be pretty responsible parents. The stories that have been told (since they have grown up, and are safe from being grounded) cause us to ask "where were their parents?"

One of the many stories was about all three kids (and friends) taking turns riding "Big Wheel Toys" down Orchard Heights Road (one of the steepest roads in town) in the middle of the night – with the rest of them following in a car with headlights providing the only light for the rider. That is only one of the many stories. Ron's daughter lived with her Mom and only came for visits yearly during which she was harassed by the other three for "being the parents pet".

There were lots of fishing and camping trips to the White Water Wilderness area east of Detroit Oregon. What wonderful memories reside in my minds eye. What a joy it was and is to have such great, creative, adventurous kids.

It wasn't long though before they reached the age of ultimate wisdom (the time when parents know nothing and are to be seen and not heard). I remember writing in my journal on one of those days when I felt completely unappreciated and abandoned by all my children. Here is the entry: " Motherhood is only a role. It's a job of caring for, nurturing, loving and raising up little persons until they can be on their own. To expect some kind of retirement benefit from this job is irrational. It is never a job done as well as expected. It has so many glitches that get filtered through. I don't think it's as important as we've made it out to be! I resign with compliments to my staff and subordinates for coping and really turning out so well. Thanks Kids! It was a Jazz! (1986)"

In Sickness and in Health

We wrote our own vows in 1975 for our ocean side wedding with two best friends and four teenagers as witnesses. We vowed to stand together, yet separate like two tall fir
trees – roots entwined, yet free to grow as tall and strong as possible. For over 30 years now we have kept our promise to one another – not to try to change the other – but rather to help each other be the very best we could be. Whether it was about raising our children, developing our individual careers, or inspiring daily hopes and dreams, our morning huddle over a cup of coffee continues to provide us with the time to connect and support one another. Ron started waking me with a cup of coffee every single day from the time we met. At first I was shocked by the special attention and I must admit over the years I have become spoiled by it! Our ritual was interrupted for a short time in 2006 when Ron was hospitalized with congestive heart failure. Then it became my turn to nurture and care for him. Ron seems to be back to normal now, but things are not the same. Now we find ourselves focused on caring for each other in a new way – with deep appreciation for each new day together. We are learning how to live to our fullest potential by being joyful each day in spite of our aches and pains. Letting go of the past demanding life style and even letting go of unfulfilled expectations and disappointments brought by world changes beyond our control. So here I am – Growing Old with Ron – trying my best to capture the "Wisdom" that is supposed to come with this stage of life.

Somewhere in the memories, the crazy experiences, the daily routines there must be bits and pieces of the virtues that really matter. In the days to come I will share some of those life changing moments and I am really hoping that those of you drawn to this blog will share your piece of the "wisdom puzzle" as well. I will leave you today with a short admonition that I have heard from Ron at least ten thousand times over our years together: When I am sad, depressed, complaining and rebelling about what is, Ron always says, "You Choose! The day will pass whether you are happy or sad, it will be gone! Why waste it?"